Murderville Dissertation

Food Free Food

It is truly said that "America is so rich our poor people are obese." That seems to grow more true by the moment for the poor, low-information eaters teetering among us on wobbling platform heels or swooping past us in those little electric carts in the supermarkets.

Conversely is also said that "you can never be to rich or too thin." To confirm that the rich among us are always fooling around with their intake in a binge/purge self-fornication festival. On the one hand many among our rich of pallor have chosen to feed on the lard-laden excrement doled out daily by the current administration and are lining up to by more. On the other hand it would seem that the same wan affluent are lining up to buy food that is so refined and uptight that it has been entirely stripped of what any other culture, any other era, would recognize as... well... food itself. So deep is the affluent American's longing for thin that we have now arrived at "food free food."

It is no surprise to anyone paying attention to the long and unwinding national nutrition neurosis that we need to have some new mountain of diet bullshit to climb every five years of so.

Mount Organic.
Mount Sustainable.
Mount Lo-Fat No-Fat.
Mount Creamy No-Fat.

Yes, it is a libidinal landscape made of featureless false and phony foods. It is a dietary desert of drifting sans. Sans lactose. Sans meat. Sans chicken. Sans land animal. Sans face. Salt free. Sugar free. Gluten free. And, as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever will be, Kosher.

Up and up the bullshit steams in a never ending inward spinning gyre of dietary dreck and nutritional nuttiness so complicated and so intertwined in morality and self-image that there seems to be, at times, nothing left to eat in a country that has more food per capita than any other nation in the history of the world. To quote that great American philosopher, Chester A. Riley, "What a revoltin' development this is."

It now seems to be the case that the food fetish factories of the world, in an effort to separate the American rich from their extra money, have pushed the pedal to the metal now that it is clear the American dollar is about to go the way of the Zimbabwe dollar. Just last month I noticed the store in my neighborhood was selling bags of crispy kelp flakes. That's right. Kelp aka "Seaweed." A bag of these unfrosted flakes weighing in at less than an ounce was being offered up "on sale" for $4.99. A quick bit of grocery store math tells you that some company in collusion with the store seemed to feel it could retail its product for $60 a pound. Sixty smackers a pound. For.... Kelp aka "Seaweed." Weed from the sea..... An offer beyond bogglement.

But I only wandered in that brave new kelpflaked world beyond bogglement for a bit before I came across, just this afternoon, a new product that offered me even less food for more money. It was something called "Crispibread" and its selling points were proudly displayed on the box:

There you have it. To say this food is "vegan" (as it does) is to underestimate its nothingness. Free of nuts. Free of soy. Free of gluten, wheat, dairy, eggs, and that evil life form, yeast. Free of it all. Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free of food at last!

Our long national nightmare is over.

Let's eat.

Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 28, 2013 7:12 PM | Comments (10)  | QuickLink:

Extreme Cures for Boredom


Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 27, 2013 4:17 PM | Comments (11)  | QuickLink:

Loomings: "And down we went."

In the mountains, there you feel free.
I read, much of the night, and go south in the winter.

The Waste Land

HT: Bird dog

Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 27, 2013 4:06 PM | Comments (4)  | QuickLink:

Victory Corps: 1942

August 1942.

"Training in marksmanship helps girls at Roosevelt High School in Los Angeles develop into responsible women. Part of Victory Corps activities there, rifle practice encourages girls to be accurate in handling firearms. Practicing on the rifle range in the school's basement." -- -- Shorpy Historical Photo Archive

Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 25, 2013 12:48 PM | Comments (2)  | QuickLink:

Something Wonderful: Sarah Jarosz - Annabel Lee


Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 24, 2013 5:40 PM | Comments (14)  | QuickLink:

1 Samuel 8: This will be the manner of the king that shall reign over you:

He will take your sons, and appoint them for himself, for his chariots, and to be his horsemen; and some shall run before his chariots.

12 And he will appoint him captains over thousands, and captains over fifties; and will set them to ear his ground, and to reap his harvest, and to make his instruments of war, and instruments of his chariots.

13 And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cooks, and to be bakers.

14 And he will take your fields, and your vineyards, and your oliveyards, even the best of them, and give them to his servants.

15 And he will take the tenth of your seed, and of your vineyards, and give to his officers, and to his servants.

16 And he will take your menservants, and your maidservants, and your goodliest young men, and your asses, and put them to his work.

17 He will take the tenth of your sheep: and ye shall be his servants.

18 And ye shall cry out in that day because of your king which ye shall have chosen you; and the Lord will not hear you in that day.

1 Samuel 8 KJV - And it came to pass

Howso' great their clamour, whatsoe'er their claim,
Suffer not the old King under any name!
Here is naught unproven--here is naught to learn.
It is written what shall fall if the King return.

He shall mark our goings, question whence we came,
Set his guards about us, as in Freedom's name.
He shall take a tribute, toll of all our ware;
He shall change our gold for arms--arms we may not bear.

-- orkut - Rudyard Kipling "The Old Issue"
HT: Bobbye

Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 24, 2013 1:01 AM | Comments (3)  | QuickLink:

12 Steps to World Government

1. We admitted we were powerless over spending—that our deficit had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that increasing taxes two times greater than all those currently levied could restore us to solvency.

3. Made a decision to turn our nation and our lives over to the care of Socialism as we understood it.

4. Made a searching and fearless inventory of all the gold actually left in the vaults of the Fed and Fort Knox and found two nuggets worth $325.99.

5. Admitted to voters, to the Federal Reserve, and to all eternal Government bureaucracies the exact nature of our bankruptcy and appeared in a barrel on The View.

6. Were entirely ready to have the Fed print infinite money on whatever paper they could get at a case discount down at Staples.

7. Humbly asked the voters to give us all their money, their IRAs, and title to their vacation homes.

8. Made a list of all persons that still had something squirreled away, and became willing to make send in the National Guard to dig up their backyards and basements.

9. Made direct promises to replace any precious metals or gems found with paper money, ten cents on the dollar, to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would require a cash award of more than $49.98.

10. Continued to search for hidden assets and when we found them promptly seized them.

11. Sought through Universal Health Care and reducing the military to improve our nation until it resembled Great Britain in real power and influence, and confiscated all guns and ammunition we could lay our hands on to keep pesky disagreements with the National Guard on a name-calling basis, praying only for a disarmed, dispirited, depressed and Universally Medicated citizenry and for the power to rule over them.

12. Having had a rebirth of the Soviet Union under Stalin as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to any remaining free societies, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 22, 2013 11:58 AM | Comments (3)  | QuickLink:

The Assignment


Libra's footsteps echo off the walls. Flickering neon light buzzes. In the corner of the garage a whole sector of lights has gone dark. Shadows thicken. A lighter flickers in the darkness as a cigar is lit.

LIBRA: Carthago. Countersign?

CENTURION: Delenda est. Sort of overly dramatic don't you think?

LIBRA: Not paid to think. What is the assignment?

CENTURION: The Wing thinks it's time to lay a little blue smoke between the mirrors. Take the heat off our team and torch the other side. That's your job.

LIBRA: Fine. How wet does the Wing want it to get?

CENTURION: We project that if three team members are put down it should put a stop to any attrition in 2014.

LIBRA: Wouldn't taking out just one serve the same purpose?

CENTURION: No. It has to look like a pattern.

LIBRA: Fine. Any particular team members you need erased?

CENTURION: Nobody from Chicago or San Francisco. And from safe seats only. We need to preserve the count. Renegade's very keen on that.

LIBRA: Level of obfuscation?

CENTURION: None. Public and messy. "Accidents" would be counter productive. But no families. Renaissance would be upset.

LIBRA: Timing?

CENTURION: Within the next 10 days. It would be best if all three were within the same day.

LIBRA: You want target clearance and notification?

CENTURION: No. This will be the last contact for this contract.

LIBRA: Half to the Bahamas account by noon tomorrow and the half on completion to our friend in Costa Rica.


LIBRA: Anything else?

CENTURION: No. If we need you again we can always find you.

LIBRA: That's what you people always think. Oh, by the way, was that stuff about you getting naked with Renegade over the golf weekend the real deal?

CENTURION: Just get it done.


Posted by Vanderleun Feb 21, 2013 10:49 PM | Comments (3)  | QuickLink:

Something (Eternally) Wonderful: "The Most Astounding Fact..."


Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 21, 2013 11:41 AM | Comments (4)  | QuickLink:

Obamaweed: Why do you think they call it "dope?"

For all you do / This bud's for you.

On sale in Seattle something that will lower your information, voter:

Obama | Green Ambrosia Patient Network Our Strain of the Union is here! A leader in it’s own right. Obama, is a heavy indica strain that is great for late afternoon or night time medication. This hard to find quintessential strain is sweet and pungent. The inhalation is smooth, resulting in a full body warmth and strong mental high. All hail as you chief! Type: Indica (70%) / Sativa (30%) Affect: Full body warmth with a strong mental high. Genetics: OG Kush x Skunk #1 Suggested Donation: $12 / gram. $45 / eighth. $85 / quarter. $160 / half. $270 / full.

Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 21, 2013 9:18 AM | Comments (7)  | QuickLink:

Is this the face that launched a thousand photoshops? UPDATED

 Faust.Was this the face that launched a thousand ships
And burnt the topless  towers of Ilium?
Sweet, make me immortal with a kiss.  [Kisses her.]
Her lips suck forth my soul; see where it flies! --
Come, come, give me my soul again.

-- Marlowe, Christopher. Doctor Faustus.

One is speaking, of course, of our latter day Helen of Troy, ye right honorable first lady of the Disunited States, Michelle Obama. Her "official" second term portrait was just released and is provided here as source material. (Standard "can't unsee the seen" warning applies.) Play nice.

Updated with a fresh spread from Michelle La Vaughn's Secret Diary via Cripes Suzette -- Dear Diary – BANGS! |


Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 20, 2013 2:27 PM | Comments (18)  | QuickLink:

Beneath the Aegean

When all Earth's seas shall Levitate,
Dark shawled within the skies,
Upon our eyes will Starfish dance
Their waltz of Blind surprise.

The sun will Rise within wine Dark
As Argonauts imbibed,
Whose drunken arms embrace that sleep
Where Phaeton's horses Stride.

Upon all of Earth's wind-sanded shores,
As dolphins Learn to soar,
All we once were on the land
Shall be sealed behind the door

Of Ivory and Chastened Gold,
That the Mystery solved complete
Shall never til the seas' Long fall
Wake mariners from their sleep.

Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 20, 2013 1:09 PM | Comments (1)  | QuickLink:

Deep Inside: A Link I Know Nobody Will Be Clicking

Big Data comes to Professional Porn: Deep Inside - A Study of 10,000 Porn Stars by Jon Millward.

They seem to be light and lively:

The average male and female performer are the same height as the average American man and woman: 5’10″ and 5’5″ respectively.2 However, porn stars are quite a bit lighter. At 117 lbs, the average female performer is a considerable 48 lbs under the national average for women, and the average male, at 167.5 lbs, weighs 27 lbs less than the national average for men.

And, no, they don't have bodacious tatas:

The most common bra size for a female porn star is a surprisingly handleable 34B. Not double-D, not even a D. Double-D actually came in 4th, behind B, C and D. The most common set of measurements for the women was 34-€“24-34.

And, yes, porn looks like America:

The proportions of each race match the general American population almost exactly, despite the fact that race is still heavily fetishized in porn.

At the same time, traditionalists will be pleased to know that porn stars make a nice couple: "Nikki Lee and David Lee—the most common first and last names of porn stars."

Much moresafe for work than you think.

PS Blondes evidently do not have more fun: "Dark-haired porn stars outnumber blonde ones almost 2-to-1."

Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 20, 2013 10:20 AM | Comments (7)  | QuickLink:

Furniture for Uncertain Times


Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 20, 2013 12:21 AM | Comments (6)  | QuickLink:

Cruising Off Baja

[Note: Last week's cruising debacle resulted in thousands of articles and comments including this one: 7 Reasons to Never Ever Ever Vacation on a Cruise Ship It also caused me to revisit my own brief flirtation with cruising some years back and add the 8th reason: It's BOR-ING!]

"A life on the ocean waves,
A home on the rolling deep..."

-- Sea Shanty

In travel I once thought there were only three levels of tedium that overtake one between departure to destination. If you go by car, your tedium level is light. You have the power to interrupt your journey at any point as well as a changing view and a task, driving, for diversion. Travel by rail or bus introduces you to the second level of tedium when only scheduled stops enable you to break the journey, but the scenery remains in the middle distance as a diversion. Should you go by air, your despair and terror are lessened by the knowledge that, except for extreme distances, your powerlessness and lack of view will at least last no more than a day.

The three levels of tedium. Each more or less equal to the others and each part of what you pay for wanting to indulge in the mindlessness of modern travel. But I have, this week discovered, a fourth level and this level contains all the horrors of travel plus the horrors of actually being there. This is a level of tedium previously unexplored by me, but rumored to exist by sensible travelers who have gone and returned to tell the tale. I should have believed them but, like the fool I have always been, I had to experience it myself. Right now I am still trapped within the confines of the experience but it isn"t too soon to send out a warning in the hopes that there are others out there who will not be the fool I was; who will turn back before committing themselves to this constantly renewing fresh hell on the ocean waves.

But should you have a taste for tedium, should boredom be like mother"s milk and daily bread (lots of it) to you, you will be surfeited by this otherwise antiquated mode of travel. Indeed, for sheer, mind obliterating tedium, for the kind of vacancy induced only by event horizons with no events and fewer horizons; for a feeling that arises in no experience other than incarceration, there is nothing that can beat the tedium induced by that modern masterpiece of torpor, stupor and pointlessness, the Cruise Ship.


Posted by Vanderleun Feb 19, 2013 12:45 PM | Comments (12)  | QuickLink:

IWO: 19 February – 26 March 1945


Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 19, 2013 9:13 AM | Comments (7)  | QuickLink:

Updating "First They Came For...."

"First they came for the blacks, and I spoke up because it was wrong, even though I'm not black.

"Then they came for the gays, and I spoke up, even though I'm not gay.

"Then they came for the Muslims, and I spoke up, because it was wrong, even though I'm an atheist.

"When they came for illegal aliens, I spoke up, even though I'm a legal immigrant.

"Then they came for the pornographers, rebels and dissenters and their speech and flag burning, and I spoke up, because rights are not only for the establishment.

"Then they came for the gun owners, and you liberal shitbags threw me under the bus, even though I'd done nothing wrong. So when they come to put you on the train, you can fucking choke and die.

"Or you can commit seppuku with a chainsaw. I really don't care anymore. This is the end of my support for any liberal cause, because liberals have become anything but."

[Written by The Sacred Cow Slaughterhouse サ The Post in Which I Piss Off EVERYBODY.]

Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 19, 2013 2:29 AM | Comments (9)  | QuickLink:

"Meanwhile, the Doers:" Comment of the Year So Far

"I wonder if at some point, those who get things done just get tired of all this and give all of the idiots a sort of separate, but parallel world where they can spend valueless money on worthless crap, compete with each other for meaningless honors, and attempt to impose preposterous narratives on one another through an unending parade of news shows, talking points, and blog posts. Meanwhile, the doers build and repair the infrastructure, pioneer innovations, bear and raise kids with a good shot at becoming perfectly decent human beings, and run the real financial system according to sound principles.

"Perhaps Kornbluth's Marching Morons [FullText] already covers this ground, but today we don't have to worry about the idiots out-reproducing the doers. Sufficient access to birth control, abortion on demand, not-especially socially costly diversions, inflated credentials and titles, food, and a few hundred square feet of living space in a "cool" urban setting will keep them content for a lifetime. In a few generations they will have chatted and partied themselves out of existence. The solution need need not have a eugenic dimension. Those children of idiots who show a strong desire to create (in the real, material sense), who like children, who want to raise them responsibly, and who believe that wealth is to be earned through toil could always be invited to the other side.

"Contempt is an important part of the scheme. Not of the doers for the idiots, but for the idiots for the doers. As the last idiot couple pops the last viagra and copulates for the last time to some life desecrating lyrics played on a sound system they could never understand, and as they die of simultaneous orgasms/strokes, they must die with contempt on their wrinkled lips for the doers. They must always be absolutely convinced of their superiority (that sound system would never have been built without us... you didn't build it... we did!). Given their hubris, I don't think that is a hard goal to achieve.

"And to be honest, I really don't think that we are that far from being able to put this plan into practice. Not that far at all."

Posted by: el baboso as a comment on Modern Love

Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 18, 2013 10:40 AM | Comments (10)  | QuickLink:

Something Wonderful: A Dance to Spring!

Some people like ballet but I've always been one for the subtleties and wistful nuance of interpretive dance. This brief example is surely one of the finest of that wistful genre of deeper insight and feeling when it comes to the dance. Indeed, discerning connoisseurs of dance will rejoice at seeing, once again, the most moving moment in the history of dance coming in at 1:22.

Indeed, so wonderful and universal is this moment that scholars of the dance may want to study it closely a few times. In that way they can deepen their understanding of the manner in which the dancer's restrained and even, deconstructively speaking, [airquote]chained[unairquote] angst and fin-de-siecle malaise can be released into an ever evolving gyre of praise to freedom emerging like a reluctant toadstool through the elemental torrent that is released upon her. As well as wanting to get her a towel for a stimulating rubdown. I am not sure if a dissertation on this theme and moment has been written but I am sure that, if one is written, it will be an original contribution to knowledge.

Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 18, 2013 10:19 AM | Comments (1)  | QuickLink:

Modern Love

“I’m no yenta, but I think this is going to work." - Jim Rogers

"Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments..."

Submitted for your consideration an item most notable for its soothing palliative tone in which the unusual is normalized. As the age's intellectual insanity assumes the proportions of a plague, the experience of reading the herald of these plague years, the New York Times, becomes more and more like reading dispatches from the alternate universe of "hoping these changes stick." That the changes can only stick if the core of the more normative America holds both economically and militarily (even as the 'changy' culture struggles to destroy it) is where the hoping enters in.

Still it is an item imbued with sweetness in the coyly named "Weddings & Celebrations" section of the Times. It really has it all when it comes to the modern nature of love in a time of cultural cholera: Vows - Kate Adamick and Kay Diaz - Weddings and Celebrations -[Emphasis carefully added]

"The two women were introduced Feb. 4, 2008, via an e-mail message from their mutual friend, Jim Rogers, the New York State deputy attorney general in the social justice division, for which Ms. Diaz, 45, is a senior trial counsel....

On Valentine’s Day the women exchanged photographs. “It’s an absolute bonus she is as beautiful as she is,” Ms. Adamick said. They scheduled their first phone call four days later. Lengthy, nightly conversations ensued....

The next day Ms. Adamick flew back to New York from California. To her surprise, Ms. Diaz was waiting for her at Newark Liberty airport with two dozen roses. The connection was instantaneous. “She dropped the flowers on the ground and kissed me,” Ms. Adamick said. “We were making out in the car like two teenagers,” Ms. Diaz said. By the following morning they were engaged. 'It just came out of my mouth...' "

A little more than a year later, on May 8, the couple were legally married by Jeanne Laughlin, a Connecticut justice of the peace, in a conference room at the Stamford Government Center.

They exchanged yellow pipe-cleaner rings, saving their engraved gold bands for their public ceremony the next day, when Mr. Rogers — who had introduced them — led them through their vows in the three-story atrium of 632 on Hudson, an event space in a 19th-century New York town house.

“All my life I searched for you, but never thought I’d find you,” Ms. Adamick said. “All my life I dreamed of you, but never dreamed you were real.”

Mr. Rogers said, “You may both kiss the bride,” and their 96 friends and family cheered as the couple smiled exuberantly.

"And," as Walter Cronkite would totalled up the whole passel of perfection if he'd attended, "That's the way it is."

Having not been invited, all I can say is that they seem like a nice, attractive couple and that I wish them all the happiness they can garner from the world. Life's tough enough on the denizens of this relentlessly advancing and evolving world, and tougher still without love.

And yet for all that it seems to me that the report of the affair as scribbled by the oddly yet predictably named "Devan Sipher" in the 'paper of [the broken] record' is trying too hard to retain a deadpan affect; a state in which the writing does not "dumb it down" so much as it "blands it out."


Posted by Vanderleun Feb 18, 2013 2:04 AM | Comments (13)  | QuickLink:

Headline of the Year (So Far)

Who says a major in English Lit is wasted? The Boston Globe decided to use the first line from Thomas Pynchon's Gravity's Rainbow: See the whole front page here.

"A screaming comes across the sky. It has happened before, but there is nothing to compare it to now.

"It is too late. The Evacuation still proceeds, but it's all theatre. There are no lights inside the cars. No light anywhere. Above him lift girders old as an iron queen, and glass somewhere far above that would let the light of day through. But it's night. He's afraid of the way the glass will fall--soon--it will be a spectacle: the fall of a crystal palace. But coming down in total blackout, without one glint of light, only great invisible crashing." -- Thomas Pynchon: Gravity's Rainbow (opening)

Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 17, 2013 11:47 AM | Comments (6)  | QuickLink:

Something Wonderful: The World's Largest Tree House

"Picture yourself in the 80's. In rural Tennessee. You're a Vietnam vet. You've been partying ever since you got back.

"Now picture yourself waking up from a drug overdose. And you're lying on the floor of a wood structure. It's sixty feet off the ground and there's no one else around. It's a treehouse.

"So you tell God if he lets you live, you'll change your ways.

"Soon after, you burn the treehouse to the ground.

"And then the vision comes. God wants you to build another treehouse. The largest treehouse that's ever been.

"And so you do.

"If that is you, then your name is Horace Burgess of Crossville, Tennessee.

"What does your creation look like? See it here."

The Borderline Sociopathic Blog For Boys: I've Been In So Many Places I Shouldn't Have Been -- The State of Tennessee says it's not safe, you can't go in there. The State of Tennessee can shove a rope up a drainpipe.

Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 16, 2013 10:37 AM | Comments (3)  | QuickLink:

Who Says There's No Good News?: "The likelihood in this century of an asteroid impact with 700 times the destructive power of the Hiroshima A-bomb: 30%."

Whew. What a relief!......

Wait..... wait..... Oh Damn!

Sigh.Keep comin' back. We're sure to get a winner one of these days.....

Like... maybe.... tomorrow?

About 1,100 injured as meteorite hits Russia with force of atomic bomb | Fox News

A problem that is bigger than global warming | Watts Up With That?

Asteroid 2012 DA14 makes its closest approach at 2:24 p.m. EST/1924 GMT today. .... The likelihood in this century of an asteroid impact with 700 times the destructive power of the Hiroshima A-bomb: 30%.... While politicians, their activist friends, and pundits caterwaul over a few tenths of a degree change in the global temperature over the last 100 years, with some Ehrlich-like nutballs even claiming it will cause extinction of humanity, today might be a good day to recognize a real extinction level challenge humanity faces. One wonders if yesterday’s meteor in Russia wasn’t some parts of the asteroid fragmented in a deep space collision eons ago and in a similar trajectory hours ahead. It may also be simply coincidence.

Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 15, 2013 1:53 PM | Comments (6)  | QuickLink:

Something Wonderful: Begin Again | The Piano Guys with Megan Nicole and Alex Goot

In which we note the growth and coming together of stars raised up on YouTube into FlashStars. Who needs the rolling failure of American Idol. Idols are everywhere.

The Lazy Song-Bruno Mars (cover) Megan Nicole | Views 36,438,654

Alex Goot | "Good Time" 9,840,441 views

ThePianoGuys One Direction - What Makes You Beautiful | 17,610,947 views

That's taken from Taylor Swift's "Begin Again" whose much more schmaltzy, "Look I'm in Paris!" version goes like this:


Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 15, 2013 12:03 PM | QuickLink:

I taste a liquor never brewed

Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 14, 2013 1:54 PM | Comments (1)  | QuickLink:

Something Wonderful: Flying People in New York City

Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 14, 2013 1:38 PM | Comments (4)  | QuickLink:

Rappin' for Jesus

I'm just putting it out there because that racist Rob sent it in. Talk amongst yourselves.

Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 13, 2013 1:04 PM | Comments (5)  | QuickLink:

God Made a Farmer: Ram Trucks Super Bowl Commercial with Paul Harvey

"The late Paul Harvey was a masterful throaty narrator in the romantic age

before the onset of America's now ubiquitous metrosexual nasal intonation. Harvey just didn't sound different from the present generation, but from what we suspect, he sounded different from most generations to come as well. One reason that our age cannot make a Shane, High Noon, or The Searchers is that most of our suburban Hollywood actors cannot even fake the accent of either the frontier or the tragic hero anymore. When Tommy Lee Jones and Robert Duvall go, so goes too the last link to the cinema's Westerner. There are no more voices like Slim Pickens or Ben Johnson. One of the successes of the commercial is that the photographed farmers did not speak, and left the impression of mute superiority." --Works and Days | The Super Bowl Farmers

Video Next


Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 13, 2013 2:57 AM | Comments (8)  | QuickLink:

Two Topics from Tuesday

Created by @notoserfdom.

Obama SOTU/Chris Dorner Manhunt Open Thread: Ace of Spades HQ

"Yes, alas, it's an Open Thread, and not a liveblog. I don't really feel like listening to this imbecilic gasbag. I asked around but no one else has much interest, either.

"CNN/Chris Dorner Update: No, Anderson Cooper did not ask if it's harder to find a black man at night. See the "red flag" at the end."

Meanwhile Morgan is happy to give you a translated synopsis. Excerpt:

Too many families with solid credit who want to buy a home are being rejected. Too many families who have never missed a payment and want to refinance are being told no. That’s holding our entire economy back, and we need to fix it. Four years without a budget is not holding our economy back, and bizarre new health care regulatoins aren’t holding our economy back, and the constant threat of ever-increasing taxes on “millionaires and billionaires” is not holding our economy back. It’s those darn banks telling people no.

Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 13, 2013 2:50 AM | QuickLink:

STATE OF THE UNION: Life During Wartime

Best number from the finest pop concert film ever made, Stop Making Sense. [Full film is HERE.]

David Byrne:I've got a tape I want to play.

Trouble in transit, got through the roadblock,
We blended in with the crowd,
We got computers, we're tapping phone lines,
I know that ain't allowed.
We dress like students, we dress like housewives
Or in a suit and a tie.
I changed my hairstyle so many times now
Don't know what I look like!

You make me shiver. I feel so tender.
We make a pretty good team.
Don't get exhausted, I'll do some driving.
You ought to get you some sleep.
Burned all my notebooks, what good are notebooks?
They won't help me survive.
My chest is aching, burns like a furnace.
The burning keeps me alive.


Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 12, 2013 7:45 PM | Comments (3)  | QuickLink:

Don't Hate Them Because They're Beautiful. Hate Them Because They Live on Another Planet.

Kate Upton fills out the cover for a second year because... well... because... because the editors were shackled by the ankles to the Upton Entity three years ago and have not yet been rescued. 2013 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue - A Full Look • Highsnobiety The full 39 (thirty-nine) photographs.

Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 12, 2013 12:04 PM | Comments (3)  | QuickLink:

Gekas and Daughter: An Unfolding Collabortation

Photography @ by Bill Gekas More work showcased @Bill Gekas Photography | The Gallery

Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 12, 2013 10:35 AM | Comments (2)  | QuickLink:

Something Wonderful: "The ugliest, ricketiest, most obnoxious best car ever."

Presenting, via The Borderline Sociopathic Blog For Boys, The Zero F**ks Given RX7

Twelve minutes of automotive nirvana. Highly recommended. "Never a dull moment here."

Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 12, 2013 8:47 AM | Comments (7)  | QuickLink:

Death from Above: Your Advance Information Sheet

Created by the strange brain in the jar at Tom the Dancing Bug Blog.

Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 11, 2013 10:39 AM | Comments (3)  | QuickLink:

Something Wonderful: I, Pencil

There is no "Mastermind."

Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 11, 2013 9:53 AM | Comments (3)  | QuickLink:

Hillary Clinton to Play Boss in New Season of 'The Office'

The wildly popular comedy series "The Office" has just been given an injection of hilarity with Hillary Clinton's decision to show off her talents as "World's Best Boss" in the tenth season of the multi-award-winning show. Producers believe that the previously organic succession of Dunder Mifflin's incompetent but lovable managers - from Michael Scott to Robert California to Andy Bernard - will be seamlessly completed by the former Secretary of State, who is expected to bring with her plenty of baggage and surprising international connections. -- People's Cube

Contact Hillary with any questions of concerns right HERE. YES, you can leave a note sharing your feelings.

Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 10, 2013 6:08 PM | QuickLink:

Sounds Simple and It Is: Red Hot Nickel Ball On Ice

Because we can, okay?


Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 10, 2013 5:44 PM | Comments (2)  | QuickLink:

Sunday Meditation: "When Will I Ever Learn To Live In God?" and "Sure on This Shining Night"

You brought it to my attention everything that was made in God
Down through centuries of great writings and paintings
Everything lives in God
Seen through architecture of great cathedrals
Down through the history of time
Is and was in the beginning and evermore shall be

When will I ever learn to live in God?
When will I ever learn?
He gives me everything I need and more
When will I ever learn?


Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 10, 2013 4:23 AM | Comments (1)  | QuickLink:

Vintage Firearms Collection

It's large. And so....


Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 9, 2013 11:20 PM | Comments (5)  | QuickLink:

Saturday Song: Wintertime Clouds Over Durango, Colorado

Contrail at 1:40.

"Same old tales ain't nothing new
What the hell's a soul to do
But maybe you can help me through
Giving me one dance with you
One dance with you
One dance with you
One dance with you
One dance with you...."

"Woody Guthrie carves a sign into his guitar
'This machine kills fascists', Ani Difranco says
'Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right'
I say, 'Here's a monkey wrench
Bop me on the head long enough....
Maybe I'll wake up for a second.'"

-- Dan Bern - One Dance

Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 9, 2013 7:02 PM | QuickLink:

Send in the Clowns: Fanner and Signer Work the Room at Mass Gov Blizzard Presser

More and more watching these government creatures strut their stilted stuff yields only bitter laughter. Here's the classic example of buffoons on parade has His High Blomeness Gov. Deval Patrick of Massachusetts blathers along framed by an obese fanner and a butch signer. This buffo comedy works best if you drop the sound and watch the craploa spew in the silence.

Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 9, 2013 5:07 PM | Comments (4)  | QuickLink:

Cops Gone Wild: Sometimes You Really Want the Police to Be Minutes Away. And Stay There.

LAPD Had "No Idea" Who They Were Shooting At In Dorner Pursuit, Says Victims' Attorney -

"It's 100 percent clear that they had no idea who was in that vehicle and just lit it up.... This could have been anyone. It could have been you. It could have been me."


Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 9, 2013 11:17 AM | Comments (22)  | QuickLink:

The Little Rover That Could

Opportunity Passes 9 Years on Mars NASA's Mars rover Opportunity just celebrated its ninth anniversary on Mars - a mission that was originally meant to last just 90 days.

Although recently eclipsed in the news by its bigger brother Curiosity, Opportunity is still going strong and making valuable scientific discoveries. Launched into space in 2003, Opportunity bounced to a hole-in-one landing in a small crater on Mars' Meridiani Planum on January 25, 2004. It has since spent 3,212 Martian days, or sols, on the surface, slowly moving from target to target, exploring craters, meteorites, unusual rock formations, and finding evidence of past water activity. Over the past 108 months, Opportunity has driven a total of 35.48 kilometers (22.05 miles) across Mars -- not bad for a mission designed to last only three months.

On First Looking Out of NASA's Rover
Written on January 25, 2004

Much have I imagined the arcing vaults of space,
And many fiery launches and cold orbits seen;
Round the darksided moon have I been
And raised a flag above Tranquility base.
Oft on one Red Planet would I place
Dreams of deep-brow'd Bradbury's Morning Green
Yet did I never breathe its pure serene
Till I saw Opportunity gaze upon our brother's face:
Then felt I like some sentinel in strange skies
When a new planet swims into his ken;
Or like those at JPL, when the Opportunity's eyes
Delivered them an image through the stars,
Look'd at each other with a wild surmise--
"All green" upon the dusty plains of Mars.

(Apologies to Keats. who would understand)

Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 9, 2013 10:06 AM | Comments (2)  | QuickLink:

Something Wonderful: Leonard Cohen - Show Me The Place

"The troubles came.
I saved what I could save.
A thread of light.
A particle, a wave."


Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 8, 2013 2:48 PM | Comments (8)  | QuickLink:

Things Are Looking UP!: A Depression Song Book for Our Time

After all, why rewrite what's been done before?

An Associated Press article Monday declared a healthy jobs market, fantastic auto sales, a surging housing market, and a stock market rocketing to new all-time highs. What’s not to love? ***

Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 8, 2013 10:15 AM | Comments (1)  | QuickLink:

So God Made A Liberal...

Who says the Supreme Being doesn't have a sense of black humor?

[From the dependably demented Sooper. Mexy. CONservative. | SOOPERMEXICAN]


Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 7, 2013 8:13 PM | Comments (4)  | QuickLink:

The Muses: "An arrest of attention in the midst of distraction."

"Today most people don't believe in the Muses any more. Not in the sense that the ancients did.

The three -- the goddesses of literature, science and the arts --€” were at one time supposed to command men to speak. They have largely been replaced by the single all purpose modern deity: the Job. In modern political orthodoxy we do things for one rational reason only, which is to get paid. We write when the Boss tells us to. We craft a speech of talking points that the committee has approved. But of the muses we heard no more. Until recently. If any spiritual debt is owed to the informational technology revolution it has been in the resurrection of the Muses. For no one familiar with the programming world will believe for a minute that its best developers. For no one familiar with the programming world will believe for a minute that its best developers write code to be paid." -- Richard Fernandez / The House that Roger Built

Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 7, 2013 1:36 PM | Comments (3)  | QuickLink:

Something Wonderful: THE VIRTUAL INAUGURAL 2013 -- An America for the Rest of Us

"Everything is amazing and nobody's happy. We're not happy because for the first time in our history we're not allowed to be happy."

C'mon, invest the 20 minutes. You've got nothing more important to do in the next half hour.


Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 7, 2013 9:03 AM | Comments (5)  | QuickLink:

Don't Ask. Don't Peel.

Newly-recruited female marines take their lunch with fellow Filipino soldiers after undergoing drills inside the marine headquarters in the town of Ternate, south of Manila on Tuesday. -- PhotoBlog

And after lunch? .... Training!

Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 6, 2013 9:11 AM | Comments (2)  | QuickLink:

Brave New 1984: We Live in the Orwell|Huxley Hybrid

“What Orwell feared were those who would ban books.

What Huxley feared was that there would be no reason to ban a book, for there would be no one who wanted to read one.

Orwell feared those who would deprive us of information.

Huxley feared those who would give us so much that we would be reduced to passivity and egotism.

Orwell feared that the truth would be concealed from us.

Huxley feared the truth would be drowned in a sea of irrelevance.

Orwell feared we would become a captive culture.

Huxley feared we would become a trivial culture, preoccupied with some equivalent of the feelies, the orgy porgy, and the centrifugal bumblepuppy.

As Huxley remarked in Brave New World Revisited, the civil libertarians and rationalists who are ever on the alert to oppose tyranny “failed to take into account man’s almost infinite appetite for distractions.”

In 1984, Orwell added, people are controlled by inflicting pain.

In Brave New World, they are controlled by inflicting pleasure.

In short, Orwell feared that what we fear will ruin us. Huxley feared that our desire will ruin us.” – Neil Postman – Amusing Ourselves to Death


Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 5, 2013 5:07 PM | Comments (10)  | QuickLink:

Four Whore Years! Four Whore Years!

Obama Supporter Interviews Her 2008 Self....


Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 5, 2013 4:04 PM | Comments (2)  | QuickLink:

Seems Legit

File under: "Moon Landing. Yeah, right."

Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 4, 2013 5:05 PM | Comments (10)  | QuickLink:

Digging Up Richard III: A Man for Our Season

Now is the parking lot of our discontent:The History Blog's Liveblogging the Richard III announcement is the best of many, many sites and news sources covering this.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here at this ungodly hour to find out as soon as humanly possible whether the skeleton discovered underneath a Leicester parking lot can be conclusively identified by a combination of DNA analysis, radiocarbon dating and forensic analysis as the remains of King Richard III."

As Richard III is now:

As Shakespeare had him:


Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 4, 2013 4:45 PM | Comments (11)  | QuickLink:

Something Wonderful: The Santa Ana Winds, Raymond Chandler, and the Ghost of William Faulkner

"There was a desert wind blowing that night. It was one of those hot dry Santa Ana's that come down through the mountain passes and curl your hair and make your nerves jump and your skin itch. On nights like that every booze party ends in a fight. Meek little wives feel the edge of the carving knife and study their husbands' necks. Anything can happen. You can even get a full glass of beer at a cocktail lounge." -- Red Wind -- Raymond Chandler

Sometimes I almost think that there's hope for pop music after all. This is one of those times. Of course, I could be wrong.


Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 4, 2013 3:15 PM | Comments (6)  | QuickLink:

Greenly Efficient Abnormalities

1. To make this the greenest Super Bowl, the New Orleans Host Committee has partnered with fans and the community to offset energy use across the major Super Bowl venues. The exterior of the Mercedes-Benz Superdome features more than 26,000 LED lights on 96 full-color graphic display panels, designed to wash the building in a spectrum of animated colors, patterns and images. The system draws only 10 kilowatts of electricity -- equivalent to the amount of energy used by a small home -- and the lights are expected to last for many years before needing replacement. --'s Department of Energy

2. Officials from Entergy, the utility company supplying power to the Superdome, said the outage occurred when sensing equipment detected an "abnormality" in the system. A statement from Entergy and the Superdome said that a piece of equipment monitoring electrical load sensed the abnormality and opened a breaker, partially cutting power. -- Power outage stops game at Super Bowl XLVII - ESPN

Posted by gerardvanderleun Feb 4, 2013 10:46 AM | QuickLink:
On February 26, 1960, the Wiyot were forcibly removed from what was known as their home when a group of self-proclaimed vigilantes massacred a number of women, children, and elderly in the middle of the night. It was on the night of the Wiyot's annual World Renewal Ceremony. The Wiyot tribe did not finally get a piece of Indian Island back until 2004, a total of 67 acres.

Massacre on Tuluwat
On February 26, 1860, a group of white settlers wiped out almost the entire village of Tuluwat with the few survivors who either escaped or were not there on that night. The attackers brought in a number of weapons, " using axes and knives, massacred over 50 women and children of Tuluwat". (Crandell) It was not the only village to be attacked at this very moment. Other Wiyot villages like it were also attacked, clearly showing that this was an outright planned attack and not random chance. The women, the children, and the elderly were slaughtered in their own beds, and blood stained the grounds of the Wiyot tribe's village, forever changing their lives.
Jane Sam, a native of the Wiyot tribe and a survivor of the Indian Island Massacre, described the attack to The Humboldt Times:
"The dance was over [in] one day. The wind blew and rough weather. On account of this nobody went home. That night after the dance all were asleep. There were four houses and one sweat house ... The door was blocked by white men as the people were asleep, not expecting anything to happen. They were not on the lookout. When they found out what was up they began to scatter and was struct down by clubs, knives and axes, all met with the same fate, children, women, and men. I got out and hid in a trash pile. 

When I get away from the trash pile I sneaked away near the edge of the marsh by a blind slough [and] laid there. I did not hear any noise or scream from people. Must of all been killed, sure enough. These white men took all things such as beads, baskets, fur, hide, bows, and arrows. All the property belonging to the dead that was not take was destroyed by burning. Women and children were killed when they lay asleep or they did not make effort to escape, as they thought the white men would not molest them. A few men got away, the exact number being forgotten. At break of day I saw two boat loads of white men going across to Eureka. These were the men that done the massacring.

It took all the forenoon to gather up all ... [the] bodies [of] men, women, children, and babies [that] could be found. One living child was found in the arms of his dead mother and today he is [still] living ... It took all day to bury the dead. The next morning they was through burying what bodies were buried on the Island. The rest of the bodies ... were taken to Mad River for burial. Some were taken away to the Peninsula and some to South Bay, some to Freshwater. That same night there was a massacre at the mouth of Eel River and at the South Jetty where men, women, and children were killed. What got away were taken to Bucksport [Fort Humboldt] by the soldiers. I do not know how long they were kept at Bucksport. From there we were taken to the Indian reservation."
Jane Searson, a Wiyot woman born in 1842, described the events that led up to that tragic moment in history:
"When the people came here [white], was friendly with us. Traded grub. Was on friendly terms ... People settle around in [Eel River] valley friendly. Trouble started over trifle, such as losing a piece of bread. We was chased from place. One morning we heard that three men come up the river had guns ... I heard shots up the river ... They burnt our houses, disturbed everything. Indian was killed while sleep. No white people was killed. Most of my relatives were killed while sleep. No white people was killed. Most of the my relatives were killed at that time ... My husband said that this murder was committed just for the purpose of ridding us to get our land ..." 
Any investigations by Humboldt County into the massacre was minuscule and did little to help understand who did it and why, giving little closure to those affected. A few pieces about the event as well as responses by the Wiyot tribe and white settlers in the area were posted to The Humboldt Times:
The appropriate justice was never administered to the white men who caused this tragedy as they escaped into the cover of dark. The men who did it never came forward to admit their part in the crimes. Anyone who tried to look into the causes of the massacre were chased away.
Because of laws by the government, the Wiyot tribe slowly lost most of their language and traditional heritage as they were forced to practice “acculturation”. Today, they are re-learning the traditions and language lost to them, and a Heritage center is being used to showcase historical artifacts belonging to the Wiyot tribe. 

The Wiyot tribe had a World Revival Ceremony that they would perform once a year. It would last seven to ten days. Indian Island was the location used for this tradition. During the night, men would go off to obtain more supplies, and the white settlers used this as a chance to attack the Wiyot tribe’s most vulnerable. There is hope among the Wiyot tribe that they can one day again perform the World Revival Ceremony again upon the original land.​

The Wiyot tribe has a website for those who wish to know more information:

​The Beginning of Healing​
The Wiyot tribe tried multiple times to retrieve back the land stolen from them. Many attempts were futile as they were rejected by the Eureka city council.

A chairwoman of the the Table Bluff Reservation and member of the Wiyot tribe, Cheryl A. Seidner, raised funds to repurchase a small piece of Indian Island, only 1.5 acres, but it was a small victory for the Wiyot Tribe, but it was the beginning of healing. The Eureka city council also granted the Wiyot tribe an extra 40 acres. The Wiyot Tribe has been holding vigils on the anniversary of the Indian Massacre since 1992.

Before the Wiyot tribe can fully utilize the land returned to them, they have been working towards restoration of the polluted soil and waters. Industrial use had riddled the land uninhabitable. Efforts to clean up would take a number of years. In 1870, Indian Island was used as the location for a shipyard repair facility. The industrial facility caused massive amounts of waste and damage, slowly corroding the soil and bay around it. Abandoned buildings, debris, and chemical are scattered all over the grounds of the original village.
The Wiyot tribe wishes to restore their cultural connection to Indian Island and once again restart the World Renewal Ceremony that was tragically ended. They hope to do so on the original site. They are planning to build a dance site, a tribal gathering area, restore the dock, and create building for changing, kitchen and service. 

It is just the beginning on the path of healing.

​The Wiyot Tribe
The Wiyot tribe had been most likely living in the Humboldt County area since 900 A.D. and still reside close by on the Table Bluff Reservation. Their ancestral grounds ranged from the “Little River near Trinidad to Bear River Ridge near Scotia, and east to Berry Summit and Chalk Mountain.” (“Cultural”) Before white settlers came to reside within the County, the Wiyot tribe’s population was over 1500, but by 1910, they dropped down to one hundred people. This is a result of disease, slavery, starvation, and murder. The Wiyot tribe also lost possession of most if not all of their homeland. It was done by force and fear as they were dragged to Fort Humboldt, for their “protection”.
Gunther Island
After the Wiyot tribe was forcibly removed from Indian Island, the island was called Gunther Island. This was due to Robert Gunther, a German immigrant, purchasing land on the island in 1864 just shortly before the massacre occurred. He turned much of the 273 acres into a dairy farm that he ran for 40 years. The house he had built was located on the site of the Tuluwat village. The Victorian mansion was set on fire on December 16, 1958 with the excuse that it was a hazard to the children who would like to play in the abandoned home.

In 1970, the Eureka City Council motioned and voted unanimously to restore its former name and officially declared it Indian Island.
Categories: 1

0 Replies to “Murderville Dissertation”

Leave a comment

L'indirizzo email non verrà pubblicato. I campi obbligatori sono contrassegnati *